Wedding day Part 1

Sitting downstairs as everybody puts their clothes on upstairs for the wedding.

Yesterday was the family get together. I drank the most expensive whiskey I could and did my Uncle Mike thing. Kris did his part and was as goofy as ever. He even put on the intelligent human being thing for awhile.

I've checked and rechecked all the things that I need to have to get into event. Now all I can do is sit in my suit and wait and wait and wait.

We're only a few miles from the Monteceido Country Club and I've worked out the route so the caravan arrives intact and in good order. We are once again asked to sign forms and the wands are passed over us to assure that we aren't terrorists. This, we find out isn't where the wedding is to occur. There are a group of buses nearby and we are loaded into them where we then wait until all the buses are full. Once this occurs we are driven off with a police escort through a twisting winding terrain. All along the way people line the road with placards and cameras waving and smiling. I want desperately to wave back but the windows are smoked and I can't get them open. I wave weakly anyway. 

Kris' other relatives had another experience because they were on buses with clear glass. They were able to smile and wave like they were on a float in the Macy parade.

We arrive at another large mansion, the buses park and we are directed up a long drive. After a bit, arrive at the entrance and exchange our invitations for a paper which tells where we will be seated. Much to my surprise, I'm not way in back, next to a dumpster, but sitting four rows from the front. This, of course, means that I've been forgiven for my "Uncle Mike" performance which means I totally mean to give it another go at the reception.

There are helicopters circling overhead and large balloons floating above. Some one says this is to keep the paparazzi with helicopters from crashing the party. Okay, now I have to admit it. This is starting to seem like it's worth the price of admission.

People line the walk back to where the wedding is to be held with trays offering us refreshments. I am disappointed that it's only lemonade and sparkling water but take the water and stroll on. The sound of violins is in the air and up ahead there is a grandstand with people already seated who I vaguely recognize. This means, for me, they are some sort of celebrities that I've seen in my rovings across the internet. We are directed passed them and down the aisle towards the front then seated. 

I spot five cameras. There are two in the front.  There's one on either side of the pavilion and one on a boom that continually swoops and dives over our heads. I can see the musicians in a beautiful garden like space filled with plants and water flowing through it. Everything is done up in black and white. Directly in front, above the stage, is a huge rhinestone cross. The weather is beautiful. The music flows and I close my eyes for I need to rest for the reception and the second coming of "Uncle Mike".

Wedding day - The Wedding

Some rag reported that the Humphries family was appalled by the garishness of the setting. Crap!

We are from Detroit and we have seen all manner of nuptials that arose from some young girl’s fantasy. Most of us found the setup quite beautiful and showed a great deal of thought. There was even a little cone with flower petals hung on the chair in front of us.

My only complaint was that the wait seemed interminable. As I said, it was a beautiful day and the surroundings so invited investigation but once we were seated that was it. All you really could do was gab to relatives, doze or watch the camera boom dive at you every few minutes. I picked the later. I could see the headlines, “Kim’s Black and White Wedding Delayed by Red”. Crazed camera boom operator kills spectator. Grieving widow given a reality show. The wedding was delayed for an hour.

It did start eventually with a celebrity musician standing up and playing the music. Who the heck he was; once again, I haven’t the foggiest. Many people applauded and seemed pleased, good enough.

The aisle they walked up was set up so that when you looked back up it, it seemed to go on forever. Kris had that the sort of bewildered look that I’d often seen on his face as a kid. He seemed to relax as he scanned us all sitting there. The groomsmen and bridesmaids came up the aisle. Camera lenses glistened, the boom zoomed and on came the bride being escorted by Bruce Jenner. Accounts I’ve heard said that Bruce was choked up through out this walk. He went right passed me and he seemed to be doing fine.

See the bald-headed Black gentleman? Yeah, this is me doing one second of fame; which is just about how long I appear in the video. This was fine with me. I’m hoping to save the other fourteen seconds for something like igniting my explosive glasses on the plane back to Detroit. You get idea.

There isn’t much to say about this that you didn’t see. If you were interested you probably saw more than I did. I didn’t get a replay or see the highlighted video pointing out people who only use one name.

Commenters talked of the diamonds she wore and the dress but from where I stood it didn’t appear particularly ostentatious. There was jewelry and a nice dress. Vera Wang did the dress but it didn’t say “Wang” or “Wang dang doodle” anywhere on it. The diamonds had no tag saying, “Really expensive diamonds not the cheap stuff you’re use to seeing”. She was the same Kim I met on the beach. The best representation of a bride at her wedding I’ve ever seen. Once again, very real but staged down to the shine on the rhinestone cross.