Kim Kardashian's Wedding: A view from the back row - The wedding invitation or how the heck does this work?

Okay, the wedding is going to be on (can't say) in (can't say either). We won't actually know where the thing is in (can't tell) though. We are going go there, hang out and then they are going to tell us where to go to be picked up and we will be delivered to the wedding. I assume this will all be handled through some private security firm, like Blackwater. Can you say, "Drive by shooting."?

This is just the beginning of way too weird. The invitation arrived in a big FedEx box and when I shook it, it felt like a book was in there. Why am I shaking the package? Because I have no sense of occasion. My wife wants to take pictures of herself opening it. Of course, this means she must put on some clothes. Yes, she's getting dressed to open a wedding invitation whilst I take pictures of her while I'm wearing my worn out pajamas.

Wow! First time I've ever seen a wedding invitation that is not only suitable for framing but is framed.

Uh oh! It's black tie and I don't have a tux, more expense unless I can get away with my standard black suit. Hey, I know how to do weddings. Basically, I wear the same suit that I wear to funerals. I just wear a red tie for weddings. It's simple. I've done it a ton of times. Apparently, Uncle Mike is going to have to pick up his game.